Better today than yesterday...

Last week I had the privilege of joining the NCC staff and heading south for the Catalyst conference.  This was my second year going and it was incredible.  I remember leaving last year feeling like I had a lot to process and work through, but this year was a bit different.  I've been home a couple days now and I've had some time to process the things I heard while I was there.  I heard amazing, inspiring and challenging speakers.  I had great times to talking things over with friends.  I've caught up on the sleep I lost.  But something is different.

Something has left me raw.

I'm not one to enjoy feeling vulnerable.  I like to keep myself protected, maybe even hidden at times.  But this new rawness is refreshing.  My guards are down and instead of feeling like a free fall like I would expect, it feels like I'm floating on the ocean watching the pelicans fly above me.  It's relaxing and invigorating at the same time.  I know this might sound crazy to a few of you, but I feel like I experienced God in a completely new way.  And its left me different (as it should I suppose.)

My mind has been racing for the last few days.

How can I be better?  That's what I keep coming back to.  How can I better today than I was yesterday? How can I be a better friend? Daughter? Sister? Manager? Coworker? Encourager? Giver? Servant?

How can I love more?

How can I better follower of Christ today than I was yesterday?

I am in the process of making some changes.

My prayer for awhile now has been that God will break my heart for what breaks His.  Well...now it is time for the next step in that.  My prayer is that God can open my eyes to ways that I can be better today than I was yesterday.  To have a broken heart is no good if you don't actually do anything about it. So here I go.  I feel that little by little I'm seeing the possibilities and I long for them. So...I am going to be making some changes...changes for the better.

I'm writing this here so I have a record of this.  I know that in the future I will be discouraged (and when I say future, I might actually mean by Friday) so I need to remind myself that its a process.  And maybe just one of you would like to join me in this? We don't need to have it all figured out today, we just need to be better than we were yesterday, and tomorrow be a bit better than today.  Imagine if we all could actually keep that pace.  There will be set backs of course, but I'm praying that God helps us, keep taking steps...no matter how small...forward.

One Year Anniversary-A Lesson in Community

This coming Wednesday I will mark my one year anniversary in Washington, DC. That kind of milestone always makes me stop and reflect on how its gone and where it's going.  I'm currently sitting on my porch with my laptop and a cup of coffee and I cannot help but feel slightly overwhelmed by the blessings I've been given this year.  I remember a year ago packing up my stuff, praying that I could make it through the year.  I moved here, not really knowing if it was even possible for me to live in DC for a year with a *very limited income. Looking back over this past year, I'm not even quite sure how it was possible.  Except I do know that I was blessed with amazing people in my life this year.  People who are gracious and giving and I am so so very thankful for them.  


I feel like I write about the people I've met here a lot, but I just can't stress enough how thankful I am.  Thankful for the random meals or concert tickets bought by friends and for the  roommates who have let me pay my rent in increments each month.  This year I have learned what it means to be part of a community.


I tend to like to do things independently.  If I can do it alone I'd rather just tackle it myself than bother others.  If you've ever seen me carry a heavy object you'd know that I'm not one to immediately ask for help.  I wait until I am sure I actually cannot complete the task alone before I give in.  This year has not allowed me to do that.  I have had to ask for help...repeatedly.  To say it's been humbling doesn't quite seem to do it justice.  There were times this year when everything was up in the air, not just my present situation but also the future.  I remember on particularly stressful time this past spring when I realized I only had about six months left in the protege program and literally had not one clue about what I would do after.  I panicked a bit.  Ok...a lot.  I had to turn to others for reassurance.  I tend to like being the person giving the reassurance, not receiving it.  That experience (and feeling of helplessness) taught me so much about community.


Community goes two ways.  You cannot fully be involved in community if you are only willing to engage in half the equation.  You cannot wait for others to continually be vulnerable with you if you are never vulnerable with them.  At some point, if you're really hoping for honest and true community, you must let your guard down.  


I can't say I'm an expert at this yet, but I'm learning.  I'm learning that sacrificial love means that once in awhile you might look like a fool, but you also might be blessed more than you could have ever imagined.  I'm learning how beautiful true community is.  It should be sought after, and cherished once found.


So thank you.  Thank you to everyone that helped me build community here and are teaching me about true love.  Thank you.

How time flies...

I can't even believe it but I have been in DC for 11 months now. I think this has been the fastest 11 months of my life. We have less than three weeks left in this year's protege program. That's insane. This year has been off the charts amazing. I feel like I've grown so much and learned so many new things.

I do have to say, one of the best parts of this year is the people I've met. It seems crazy to think that a year ago I had never met any of the people that are a regular part of my everyday life now. These are people I truly miss when I don't see for a few days and I find myself wishing they were around when they aren't.

Perhaps above anyone, the group I've grown closest to this year is the five other proteges. If you haven't met these people yet, you're missing out. I honestly love them so much. I love our weekly protege huddle because its one of the rare times when all six of us can just sit down and catch up. When I look around our circle, it funny because we are all very different. We each come from different places with backgrounds and upbringings as varied as our specific areas of focus. Each has brought a fresh perspective to the group and I can honestly say I've have learned from each of them.

Here are just a few of the things I love most about each of them (in no particular order of course):

• Reagan: Reagan brings joy with her everywhere she goes. I've gotten the chance to share a desk with her this year and we got to co-lead a small group this summer. Reagan's passion for creativity is infectious. She doesn't settle for what is but strives for what could be. She is also the most likely person to leave you a gift on your desk with a simple note that can make your day. I wouldn't want to have shared a desk with anyone else.

• Diana: I've gotten the opportunity to watch Diana grow this year. She started the year with so many insecurities and I've gotten to watch as one by one she tackled those head on. I'm so very proud of her. Diana also has one of the biggest hearts I've seen. Caring for others comes so naturally to her. It's simply amazing to watch her ministering to others. Its almost effortless for her.

• Davey: What can I say about Davey? I love Davey. He's a self-proclaimed cynic but he has one of the kindest, most giving hearts I've ever seen. He simply lights up when he talks about his ministry with the homeless population of DC. When others would shy away from these people on the streets, Davey is trying to come up with ways to truly bless them. It's inspiring. He's inspiring.

• Travis: Travis has taught me to think bigger. Travis is not one to settle for second best and I love that about him. Travis is also one of the first people to give God the credit. He believes strongly in the power of the Holy Spirit and that is evident within the first few moments speaking with him. He understands that ministry is about more than leadership formulas, it's about succumbing to the Holy Spirit.

• Josh: Josh has a servant's heart. He loves people and he is so welcoming. Josh radiates hospitality but in a way that pushes you. He has the ability to ask questions that push you all with amazing humility and grace. He and his wife Kelly have a passion for seeing people come to Christ and they have both been a blessing to our entire protege class.

I'm sad to see the end of our year together coming up so quickly. But at the same time, I'm really excited to see where everyone ends up and what they each achieve. These are all people with great passion and I simply cannot wait to see how God continues to use them and guide their footsteps. I truly am so thankful for each of them. They have each blessed me in more ways than I can list here.

Full Circle

Today I had one of those weird, rare moments where I was able to step outside myself and view my life for the past few years as a spectator.

As proteges we read a different book each month. This month the book was UnChristian by David Kinnaman and Gabe Lyons. This was not the first time I had read this book. I had actually read it about four years ago. I confessed to a couple of my fellow proteges just before our meeting that I had actually not reread the book but since I remembered it pretty well I figured I'd still be ready for discussion. Josh Stockstill, the discipleship protege said, "Well that's okay. The book already changed your life, what more could you really hope to get out of it?" I laughed but he was actually completely right. That book had changed my life.

Now I'm not one of those people that reads or hears something and then tells everyone how it changed my life blah blah blah. But this time it was true. Not because I found something the authors said to be particularly poignant or something. I mean, I enjoyed the book but that wasn't it. Deep in the middle of the book was a passage written by a pastor in Washington, DC. He was explaining why his church built a coffeehouse instead of a church building. He said that Jesus hung out at the wells and since coffeehouses are postmodern wells, it only made sense. This is a place where the community and church can cross paths. As I read those words, I remember having this uncontrollable excitement fill me. I had been telling people about this idea I had for a coffeehouse. It would be nonprofit and would give back to the community. I had a hard time completely explaining it but I knew I would know if I ever saw it. And here it was. Someone I had never met, or even heard of, was perfectly articulating my vision.

I immediately Googled that church and the pastor and read the passage aloud to my roommates. They now had a new understanding of what I had been trying to tell them for so long. I was not only excited, I was encouraged.

Now, when I read those words I had no intention of packing up and moving to DC. I thought it might be interesting to visit this church sometime, just for a frame of reference but that was all. But something changed that day. A seed was planted. After that, in the back of my mind was always this church in DC doing ministry in a way I could relate to. In a way I believed in. It's hard to ignore that.

Fast forward four years and I'm sitting in a circle in the NCC offices discussing this very same book, even the same old copy. My old book opens easily to that same passage now and reveals the star I scribbled in the margin next to it that day. It was a bit surreal.

What if I had never read that book four years ago? Where would I be? What if that book had been like so many others I have purchased, only to sit on my shelf for years before I got around to reading them? Would I have heard of NCC or Ebenezers or Mark Batterson? That is crazy to think about.

It also makes me want to get around to reading all of those unread books of mine...

Perhaps...

I'm having one of those nights. You know, those nights that for whatever reason you cannot think of anything other than the future and all of its options. The what ifs. I get like this sometimes. Not too often but occasionally. Usually I wouldn't blog in this state. I wait until I regain composure, because I will. I always do. Maybe even by morning. It never lasts long. I'll freak out for a couple hours or a couple days max and then I remember that God is in control and its all worked out so far so I need to quit worrying and enjoy the journey. And then I feel content. And then I sleep peacefully. But I'm not there yet.

Today I cannot stop thinking. And thinking. And thinking.

I guess for some reason I just needed to share that tonight. Maybe you're up too and you're thinking and/or worrying about the future. Perhaps we can say a prayer for each other? Would that be alright? I'll say a prayer for you and maybe you could say one for me too. Perhaps we'll wake up in the morning ready to take on the day. We'll feel refreshed and reassured. We'll have stopped worrying and remembered to just breathe.

...Perhaps.

I am not an appendix.

Every Tuesday morning at NCC we have an all staff meeting. Well...meeting might be a bit strong, it is more like an all staff gathering. Honestly its one of my favorite parts of the week. The entire staff stops what they are doing to come together and share what has been happening in the past week. There is no agenda or official minutes, but I sometimes come out of those meetings feeling like more was accomplished in that last half hour than in any of the official "meetings" I have had at other jobs.

Each week one staff member shares a short devotional during the meeting. This past Tuesday was my turn. Now let me remind you...I am on staff at a church. A church. Full of pastors. Pastors that are great at what they do. Great thinkers and communicators that know a ton more about the Bible than I ever have. I work in the coffeehouse. So what in the world was I possibly going to share with this group of people? What could I have to say that would make an ounce of difference to any of them? It's not that I thought that they would be sitting there booing me, because these are beautiful, kind people. But what if I got one of those terrible to pronounce Bible names or places? What if my interpretation was weak or kind-of a stretch? What if I just didn't communicate well?

The Biblical metaphor that has always resonated with me, is the idea that we are the body of Christ. If we are a "body," then we all have a role. A distinct separate role, that can all work together for a common goal. No one part is better than another. Each is separate yet united. I love this idea. I love it, but I became aware this week that I am not sure that I fully believe it.

When faced with sharing this devotional, I felt like I was sharing to a roomful of lungs, hearts and brains of the body. I was a mere appendix. Not really that useful at all and really not of much value to the entire body. Shoot, I know numerous people that have had theirs removed and they don't even feel a difference now that its gone. I felt like an appendix.

But I was still required to share a devotional with these vital organs, so I did. I changed my topic a couple of times before landing on the thing that was closest to my heart. I shared on a topic that I am passionate about and I shared as honestly as I could. To my surprise as I spoke and I looked around, not to see the room full of people I feel are smarter and more spiritual than myself judging me for skipping the hard to pronounce words from the Bible references, but to see smiles and nods. They were listening. To me.

When I finished, I felt like God showed me something. I was not an appendix after all. The point of that metaphor is not to seek out the most useless organ and identify with that, but instead to understand that we are all vital organs. Throughout the day I had people I really respect tell me they appreciated what I had to say and how I said it. I don't say this to boost my own ego but to say that God is teaching me that we all are vital. We all have a voice. Even me. I am not an appendix. Neither are you.

Midterms

I am not particularly fond of midterm exams but I do like the idea of periodically assessing how much I have learned. Since as of this very moment I have lived in DC for six months, four hours and 42 minutes (approximately), I thought I would share some things I have learned over this last six months. Some of these things have been life changing, some not so much. Some are deeply spiritual and am sure you will be impressed with me, others...not so much. I'm just kidding...I'm sure you'll be impressed with all the things I have learned.

Here are twelve of the things I've learned so far (in no particular order and certainly not exhaustive):

1. I love Greek yogurt. No seriously. Something changed the first time I ever tried Fage with honey. I honestly look forward to my daily yogurt. I may have a problem.

2. Walking to work can actually be really great. At first the thought of walking almost two miles to and and from work every day seemed daunting but now I actually find it rather relaxing. When I don't walk for a few days I feel myself craving a good stroll. It has also has led to the next thing I've learned.

3. People in DC are surprisingly nice. I rarely walk down the street without someone saying hello. While these are occasionally hellos from the passenger side of some guys best friend's ride (TLC anyone?) more often than not they are genuine hellos from people just passing down the street. Perhaps it has something to do with being further south then New York so people are just nicer but I find it quite refreshing and rather surprising.

4. While DC definitely has a segment of the population that classifies as the power hungry politician type, for the most part that is not the norm. Most of the people I have encountered are actually quite young (newly graduated from college) and idealistic. They are people that have come here because they have deep convictions and actually want to make a difference. They are a lot more like me than I would have ever wanted to admit before. As someone that is often rather cynical of both politics and politicians, I have found this very encouraging.

5. I have learned to navigate the DC Metro system. Public transportation was totally new to me, but it is something I've come to really appreciate about DC.

6. No one sounds good when singing with headphones in. I'm pretty sure I knew this before I came to DC but as a direct result of learning the Metro system, I am reminded of this fact daily and am sure I will not be soon to forget.

7. Don't leave your trunk open and unattended or some jerk may steal your toiletry bag.

8. Karaoke can actually be quite fun and not nearly as terrifying as I may have once imagined.

9. Great lessons can come from some surprising places. Being surrounded with such amazing teachers and communicators I had assumed that one of my most important lessons would stemmed from one of their teachings. It has come, however from a middle aged homeless man named Vondell. Vondell has been such an inspiration to me. Through him I have gotten to see God work in amazing ways. Not only did God provide housing for him, but just before that He provided a way for Vondell to go on missions trip to Jamaica to minister to others. Watching him light up as he told me that he was able to help others was not only inspiring but humbling. I could probably go on for quite awhile about the impact Vondell has had on me. Perhaps I will write more about him later. In the mean time, stop by Ebenezers and I will introduce you to him and you'll see first hand what I mean.

10. Landlords will come quickly if you say that it is raining...in your living room.

11. I've learned what calling an audible in football is. (That one is for my fellow proteges.)

12. I really don't know much at all. I have my masters degree and I think I have never felt more sure of how little I actually know about the world and about God as I do now. I am part of a small group that is discussing the basics of theology and it has succeeded in reminding me how little I actually know about God. But while I still have so much to learn about Him, He is still willing to guide me and use me. That is rather humbling...but I suppose learning humility may not be a bad thing. Perhaps in six months humility will be on the top of my list of things I've learned.

Four Months

I have officially been in Washington, DC for four months now. That's crazy to really think about. In some ways it feels so much longer than that; in others it seems like just yesterday that I loaded my Yaris and my iPod and headed South.

People are often asking me what I plan to do after the Protege Program ends in August. In some ways I feel like this is something that I should be worrying about more than I actually am. The truth is, I really have no idea. I know what I'd like to do, but in actuality have no real plan for September 2011. I know that should stress me out. I mean, it is nine months away. In the past it would have. But if I learned in anything in 2010 it was that sometimes having no plan is the best plan of all.

I have been thinking a lot about last year this week. A year ago, I was living in West Virginia and was feeling a bit frustrated. I had absolutely no idea of where I would be in a year. Actually living in DC wasn't even on the radar a year ago. I had sort-of given up on the idea and decided it was time to be responsible and truthfully as much as I loved DC and the ministry I knew was happening here, I was afraid. The idea of moving somewhere alone so far from anyone or anything I knew, was terrifying. Odd isn't it? Odd that God continually gets me to the exact place He wants me to be despite my fears and my own stubbornness.

So 2010 ended up being a crazy ride that felt more like a decade than 12 months. In the course of those 12 months, I lived in three states, worked four different jobs, and completed my masters degree. 2010 had some really great moments. It also had some really rough moments. I was thinking about doing a top ten of 2010 but I'm not really sure where to start, it may have to be a top 20. Maybe I will work on that in the next couple of days. Anyway, if in just a few short months I can go from deciding I am not even going to try to move somewhere to living there and loving every moment of it, I cannot imagine what this next year will hold.

While I am not really the resolution type I often pick a theme for the upcoming year to focus on in each area of my life. This year that theme is discipline, as I feel that self discipline is a principle that I can apply to many areas of my life, financially, spiritually, physically, etc.

There is another theme that seems to be emerging as well.

Hope. 2011 will be a year of hope. So next year at this time, who knows what I'll be doing but I am hopeful because I know God does have a plan in spite of my own stupidness and insecurities. He has proven that in the past and I know that will also be true for the future.

So here's to 2011 and to having no plan at all! :)

Christmas/ New Year Update

I’m not sure even where to begin with this entry. I just reread the letter I mailed to some of you before I moved to DC just a couple of months ago. It seems crazy because that seems like forever ago, not three months. So here I am curled up in a chair in the office at work. I feel like there is so much to tell you since my last letter, I cannot figure out where to begin.

I suppose I could start with what I have been doing for three months. Well, I hit the ground running. I arrived here at 4pm on a Wednesday and started my new position here at National Community Church at 9am the next morning, and its been a whirlwind ever since. My position is split between a few different areas. I work as a shift supervisor part time at Ebenezers (the coffeehouse the church owns). The rest of my time I work with the events that happen here at Ebenezers that range from concerts and poetry nights to luncheons with political figures. I’ve gotten to do some pretty incredible stuff. In October I had the opportunity to go to Atlanta with the NCC staff for a leadership conference and in November we all went up to Baltimore for a couple days to pray and plan for the next year.

I am living in a gorgeous row house with five other girls about two miles from work. They are great and I could not feel more blessed with my living arrangements. Seriously. I know at first that sounds like a lot of girls in one space but it has been such a blessing. They are really fantastic and each brings something really special to our house.

The people I have met here are also amazing. From the moment I arrived I have been blessed with nothing but hospitality and open arms. I knew people would be “nice” but I had no idea how welcoming and great everyone would be. These are people I would have chosen to be my friends and I get to work and do ministry with them. How amazing is that?

Over the next year I will be working on some projects for Ebenezers that really suit my passions. My direct supervisors have been great at allowing me to be a part of things that really interest me. Since my heart is really focused on the “coffee with a cause” side of Ebenezers, most of my projects will be focusing on how Ebenezers gives back to the community. This will involve not only finding ways to highlight those efforts but also finding new original ways to positively impact our neighbors, both locally and internationally.

I also want to let you know that it is not too late to help get involved. I will be in this position until the end of August, so additional support would be greatly appreciated. First, I would like to ask for your continued prayers. Thus far, your prayers have been felt and I appreciate that more than I can express. Also, I would like to invite you to help support me financially. Aside from my time working the floor of the coffeehouse, my position is unpaid. Would you please consider either supporting me over these next few months or with a one-time gift?

As a way to raise some additional funds, I have also begun selling Avon products. I chose Avon because people can make purchases from my website and have their items mailed directly to their homes. Avon also has a variety of products so there really is something for everyone. Please consider making a purchase from my website (www.youravon.com/hcorsi), to not only support me but to get a little something for yourself as well!

I know that God is doing some truly awesome things here in DC and I feel so blessed to be a part of this. Please consider being a part of this as well. If you aren’t already, you can also follow my experience on this blog and twitter to keep up to date on this adventure! Thank you for being a part of my life! I cannot wait to see where 2011 takes all of us!

With love,

Heather

Avon: www.youravon.com/hcorsi

Blog: http://randomthoughtshmc.blogspot.com

twitter: heathercorsi

email: hmcorsi@gmail.com

Bangs

So today was my first day back to work after the craziness of the holidays. I had several people stop and ask, "Is there something different about you?" "Did you cut your hair?" or "What's different?"

Bangs. That's what's different. I left with long misshapen sorry excuses for bangs and returned with properly formed bangs. But that answer didn't seem to satisfy the people asking. They assumed there was something else. I assured them that I only had a haircut no Christmas plastic surgery. As I thought about it though, I realized that there was something (besides my new bangs) different about me today. For the first time in awhile, I felt content.

It's not that I haven't felt content for quite awhile now but I think I've been too busy to notice. Today...I noticed. It started when I was driving back to DC last night. The past couple weeks have contained more hours of driving than I would have liked but last night my drive felt different. As I got closer to home I expected to feel a bit of the inevitable dread that usually comes when ending vacation and resuming real life. Instead, I felt excited and peaceful. I was home. And I was thoroughly looking forward to returning to work. It had been a really long time since I felt like that. That same excitement continued as I got ready for work and even as I walked to work. Weird.

I started to notice some of this just before I went home for the holidays. I was feeling a tad homesick. But as I thought about it, I realized that really I just missed my family and friends. Home no longer felt the same as it once did. I used to long for a particular place, but now the word "home" had a different definition to me. The song "I'll be home for Christmas" had a new meaning for me this year. "Home" is my family. Places are great but they are not what I long for when I've a had a rough day. While I believe that as I move around from place to place, I cannot help but leave a piece of my heart behind, I am suddenly aware that this is because my heart is left those I love that are still there.

Funny, I just reread that paragraph and it actually makes me sound like I don't like where I am, but its actually the opposite. I have fallen in love with DC. I have fallen in love with NCC and Ebenezers. But most of all, I have fallen in love with the people here. I was trying to explain to an old friend over the holidays that I don't mind working long hours because I get to work with the very same people I'd want to hang out with anyway. While I have no idea how long I will get to do this, I am just in the mode of trying to soak up as much and as many experiences as I can, while I can.

Next week, I am supposed to answer the question of what else I'd like to get out of my experience as a Protege. I honestly am not sure how I am going to answer that question. I already feel far more blessed than I deserve. I have already had so many amazing experiences that I cannot begin to ask for more.

So yes, there is something different about me. I have taken time to let some of my time here sink in and I could not be more thankful. I feel content and expectant at the same time. I cannot wait to see what could possibly be next. While it has not all been easy here in DC, it has already changed me for the better and I'm only a quarter of the way in.

So yes, yes there is something different.

Oh...and I have bangs.

Friends

I've been meaning to write this blog post for a couple of weeks now but I'm just now getting around to it. Anyway, I heard something someone said one day, sort-of in passing, that has the potential to change lives. We had a musician perform at Ebenezers a few weeks ago, Justin McRoberts. Between songs he told some stories. It was in the midst of one of these stories, when he said something that shook me to the core. He said that being a musician he travels a lot and constantly is meeting new friends. Then, almost as a side note he added that he has come to realize that there are no strangers, only friends, some you know well and some you haven't met yet. He said he views everyone as a friend until they prove otherwise, rather that vice versa.

Go ahead...read that again. Now think about it.

If you adopted that mentality how would that change your interactions with others? How would change how you viewed others? Don't we give our friends a pass when they are grumpy and assume there is a reason for their mood? If our friends ask of for something don't we try to give them what they need? Don't we forgive their quirks or neurotic tendencies? Instead of viewing the guy that just cut you off as a jerk, don't we just laugh it off if it's our friend? Don't we confront our friends when they need to be confronted and protect when they need to be protected?

For the last couple of weeks, I've been pondering this concept. I truly think that having this slight shift in mentality could be life altering. Truth is, it's really hard to do, but I'm praying that I can make it second nature. I want to stop seeing strangers and begin to see friends, old and new.

Planning Retreat 2010

Today is our first day back to work after two days away at our Planning Retreat. I'm sure I am not alone in my feeling a tad bit overwhelmed. We came up with some great stuff the last couple of days...but now we need to find the time to actually implement these things!

The retreat consists of the entire NCC staff driving up to Baltimore and spending two days dreaming and planning for the next year. Each person's time is split between personal planning time and group planning time.

When I first heard about this...I had no idea what in the world I would be able to contribute. I tend to be more creative when I am provided with some sort-of framework, so at first this entire idea was incredibly intimidating. It turned out to be wonderful however, and my department mentors were able to provide me with just enough framework to really help me envision some pretty cool things for the future. It turned out to be a great couple of days.

I am thankful to be a part of a church that is willing to be such an emphasis on planning. And not only planning...be reevaluating. Each department looked at what they were currently doing and evaluated what was working and if it wasn't...they were willing to eliminate it. That principle is such a part of the NCC core and is something that drew me to them. The idea that just because it has become tradition or we are comfortable with it, does not mean that we need to continue it, or that it is the best way to do things. I think that takes incredible bravery to nix something that may just not be as good as it could be. I love that.

I heard about some really amazing projects and ideas this weekend. I am so excited to see these things come to fruition. It's inspiring to watch the process of God breathing new, beautiful ideas into us and helping us to move forward with those promises. I am blessed to have a job that I honestly cannot wait to get started on my new projects and watch as others begin theirs as well.

Good for the Soul Friends

This weekend I got to spend time with some friends from college. It was a blast. They are the people in my life that we can literally not contact one another for months but as soon as we do its like we've hung out everyday since the days of Southeastern.

One of the best parts of having friends like that is seeing the evolution that takes place in a person in the years immediately following college. The main reason we decided to get together (besides the fact that it had been far too long) was that our one friend had a baby. A beautiful beautiful baby.

Stuff like that made me reflect on the past and remember the first time she had even ever mentioned this guy, who would become the father of her child. I remember it clearly; we were walking to class and she casually mentioned she had gotten a letter from Bruce. Our other friend and I of course made her back up and explain who this "Bruce" character was, why he was writing her letters and why we had never heard of him before. It's funny to remember that so vividly and then to be sitting in their living room cooing over their new baby.

With both of these dear friends I have watched as their college romances have blossomed into beautiful marriages. I've watched as they have matured and seen subtle changes that have helped them become one with their spouses. As a single girl myself, I am thankful that I have such great examples of marriage in my closest friends. They are inspiring. And as we move to the next phase and I watch as they step into the roles of motherhood, I can only be proud.

These are the kinds of friends that are good for the soul. I wish we could get together every week but we all seem to be drawn to different corners of this country. So for now, I will just cherish the opportunities we get to spend time with one another.

I truly believe that their friendship was a gift from God to me. On the surface the three of us are very different but we seem to relate at a much deeper level than most of my other friendships. I believe the Bible calls it "iron sharpening iron." If you have those friends and you haven't called them in awhile...call them, schedule a visit. And when you get together, laugh and encourage one another. Seriously. Go call them. It will be good for your soul too.

Goals

I've recently been talking a lot about goals with people. This consists mostly of the other person listing some of their goals and me internally panicking while preparing for the inevitable question. What are some of your goals?

It's not that I don't have goals. I do. They just look a little different sometimes. For example, I cannot bring myself to set a goal to have my mortgage paid off by the time I am 55 when I do not yet even have a mortgage. It's just not how I am wired. My goals are often more theoretical in nature...more like themes. This does not usually fulfill the other person's expectations of a proper goal however; this has proven to be the source of frustration for both of us.

I desperately have tried to be that person that says I'm going to school for blank so that I can become blank and do blank and blank. (Upon rereading that last sentence I realize that it doesn't sound as innocent as I meant it but I think you get the picture.) The honest truth is however, I'm secretly glad I'm not one of those people. I had romanticized the the notion in the past but what could be more exciting than not knowing the future? So far, it's actually worked out pretty well and it's taking me some crazy places that I would not have planned for. I also would not have added them to a goal list, because I probably wouldn't have thought of things like "graduate from Southeastern University," "move to Columbus," or even "move to DC and work for a church on Capitol Hill." And even though it wasn't formally on my "goal" sheet it seems to have happened anyway.

I used to think that if I ever married that it had better be to a man that had a distinct pattern for life so that one of us would possess some direction. Now, I actually think the opposite might be a better fit. My life has been pretty crazy and I can only imagine that it will keep being so, so I might as well try to find someone willing to join me in this crazy ride rather than stabilize it. And besides, I do have direction, its just more of a turn by turn type of direction rather than the entire zoomed out Google map.

I don't think goals or resolutions are bad, I just feel that mine may not look like everyone else's. And that...that is okay.

Catalyst thoughts...

As a mentioned before, the theme of Catalyst was "the tension is good." It's funny how something so basic can be so crucial to hear at times. Personally I struggle with the tension of what I want to call my "career." I desperately want to be one of those people that said in high school, "I'm going to be nurse." So they went to college to study nursing and now they are nurses and most likely will be until they retire. I want to be that person...but I am not. Truth is, I graduated from college almost five years ago and I still cannot say with one hundred percent certainty what I will do with my life. There are some things I know of course, but they never seem sufficient when I am trying to explain my life's goals to another person.

People assume that my plan is to open a coffeehouse. This is not a bad assumption by any means, and honestly it may very well happen some day. I love coffee and I have a passion for using that medium to reach the community, to foster relationships and better the lives of those involved in the entire coffee process (ie. Fair Trade beans). But when I look at my life, I am not sure that that is the end of the story.

I am equally as passionate about the church as I am about coffee. I love seeing the church come together and work toward a common goal. I believe that the church does not need to be irrelevant in today's culture but I also believe that some significant changes must occur so that the church remains authentic and a vital part of the community. I almost studied Industrial and Organizational Psychology or Sociology in grad school so that I could work towards being a consultant of sorts for churches to help them reach out to the community. (I ended up studying something else but that's a long story.) I feel that the church often ignores these sciences and therefore knows nothing about the people they are trying to help. My thought was that I could utilize the very same tools that the business world seems to have conquered but use them as a way to genuinely help people. Instead of understanding people so that we could sell them a product, we could use that understanding to connect and really impact a church's community. It would also be used as a way to unify those working together inside a church so that a church staff could use tools like personality profiles to help understand one another and relate better...in the hopes that this could avoid the ugly conflicts that all too often tear apart churches.

The truth is I still want to do both of these things. I currently work in a coffeehouse that gives all profits back to the community and missions projects around the world. And I love it. But ultimately my heart still has a soft spot for the church and for making the church reflect the church of the New Testament.

Honestly, this dichotomy can get rather frustrating to someone like me. I'm a thinker but sometimes thinking doesn't solve the problem. Perhaps though, I am not meant to solve this "problem." Beth Moore said something at Catalyst that really resonated with me. She said to make sure we do not commit to a particular ministry field but just to commit to God and the rest will take care of itself. I needed to hear that. So that's my plan for the next year...to commit to God and learn as a much as I can about as many things as I can. I don't know where that will leave me in a year but today I'm going to try and take the advice of Jesus and just worry about today and let tomorrow worry about itself.

Catalyst 2010

Last week the entire NCC staff packed up and flew to Georgia for the Catalyst Conference. It was incredible. The entire time was constant stimulation and honestly a bit hard to digest while we there. I am the type of person that needs a few minutes alone in quiet to process tough new information but that is not the dynamic of Catalyst. In the "down time" there were knives being thrown and a man shooting out of a cannon...not exactly relaxing reflecting time.

So in this past week since I've been home I've been trying to take time to review my notes and internalize the great things I heard. It's funny because I think some of the things that hit me most were the things that speakers said as a side note or off the cuff, not the actual topic of their discussions.

I also had a moment that as I sat there I realized that I get to be apart of something amazing. Obviously I have repeatedly had that thought since being in DC, but something about being in an arena full of people that are there for a common goal, does something for my soul. My heart longs for unity and for people that are willing to set aside differences to really reach the world. One moment that will stick in my mind for quite awhile is when Gungor was on stage. It was the end of the song Beautiful Things (which has been a favorite of mine for awhile now), when they just entered into this beautiful instrumental form of worship. I took a second to look around the arena and watch as all these people poured their hearts out to God. It was truly beautiful and I think it completely embodied the spirit of the song. We are all so flawed but God has taken us and turned us into something beautiful...a reflection of Him. I think I will be wrestling with some of the things I heard last week for awhile and I'm sure I will blog more about that, but I am hoping that feeling of unity is one that sticks.

Leadership

As proteges, we have been reading Next Generation Leader by Andy Stanley. The entire book is filled with some really great insights and practical applications. Today we discussed the book as a group and it was really insightful.

I found that my biggest obstacle when reading the book was identifying with label of "leader." It honestly does not make much sense that I have as much trouble with that title as I do. I am consistently put into leadership roles and I really want to be a person of influence. I think my biggest problem is knowing how uncertain I am all the time. How things scare me and I feel so lost and helpless so much of the time. Or how I may have made a good decision here or there, but for every good decision were just as many bad decisions or a very real chance of me choosing incorrectly. One thing Andy mentioned in the book was that he is never more than 80% certain of things. I found that refreshing. Maybe I'm not the only one that doesn't have it all figured out? And maybe that's ok?

Earlier today in our staff meeting, a member of our staff lead us in a devotional. He asked us what the major theme our "story" would be. He said that throughout the Bible, God's theme is that of humility. Logically if we are to be reflecting God, then our stories should also be stories of humility. For me, this really tied into everything we have been reading about being a leader.

I want desperately to be a leader of humility but I fear that more often I am a leader of insecurity. By that I mean this...I am perfectly fine being behind the scenes and not the face in front of the crowd. This may appear as humility to some but really it is often my insecurity. I am fine receiving praise but I am often not fine with receiving criticism. If I can stay in the background, my mistakes are not as noticeable. This is not easy for me to admit and in some ways I really do enjoy doing the behind the scenes stuff. But we also have been examining our motives, and if I perfectly honest, my motives are not always pure.

One of the goals I have set for this next year is that I will step out and try more new things. I will say yes, even when I am afraid. I will most likely not get it right every time and I may even fall back into old habits but I am praying that God will help to give me strength to have truly humble motives. I have a feeling I have found a few people that might help to keep me accountable to this as well.

Practical is Impractical.

So I have been in DC for a whole week now! It has been ca-razy!! It's really weird because I feel like I've been here forever (except of course when I'm driving or trying to figure where in the world I am!) But I feel like it just clicks.

I was sitting at dinner the other night with some new friends from the church and I suddenly became very aware that I had only met these people a couple of days before but it felt like so much longer. I keep having these little moments where it really sinks in that I now LIVE in DC and this isn't just another visit. I was able to unpack the last of my stuff and go grocery shopping last night. I felt like a real resident. I keep waiting for the moment when I freak out about this but it hasn't happened yet. So far I am just grateful to God that I get to do this. I've been reflecting on the last few years and I can now see how they have prepared me for exactly this moment and for that...I am also grateful.

Yesterday we got to sit down and hang out with Pastor Mark (Batterson) for awhile. Up until now we have only really gotten to see him in passing so it was nice to just get to know him for a bit. We all told our stories and how we ended up here and he pointed out that when I told mine I used the word "practical" a lot. That's because I desperately want to be "practical" but so far my life has not reflected that. It seems that God keeps calling me to do impractical things like pack up and move to DC. He smiled and said "practical is impractical anyway."

I think I'm going to like it here.

NCC Day number 3!

Well today was my third day as part of the National Community Church Protege Program. Honestly, these last few days have been a whirl wind and I cannot believe that I have only been here since Wednesday. It feels like much longer than that...but in a good way. I cannot believe that this simple girl from Western New York gets to be a part of something so amazing. These last couple of days I have met a-mazing people and am really excited to see what's in store for all of us this next year.

I moved on Wednesday and started at 9am on Thursday. We got to spend some time getting to know the other five people in the program. We got to share our crazy stories of how God had brought each one of us to this place. It was interesting because we all have such different backgrounds and passions but we all seem to share common threads in our stories and there is an ease to our conversations. I'm looking forward to learning from each of them.

The NCC staff...well I actually am having trouble articulating how fantastic everyone has been. Their energy is off the charts and they really couldn't be more welcoming. I was asked at dinner tonight what my favorite part has been so far. I immediately thought of some of the crazy things I've seen and participated in these last couple of days. There has been cheering, high fives, the "slow clap" that evolves into enormous roars, karaoke and even some dancing. These are things that most of you will know, I usually do not enjoy. And if I ever do enjoy them, it is after I have known the other participants for a lengthy period of time, not after mere hours of meeting. But truly...I have loved every minute, even as I awkwardly sang my part of the duet to Jesus Freak, I loved it. This is because I do not feel that I am surrounded by strangers but by lifelong friends. Friends that share my vision and passion for God. I mean really...what more could you ask for?

As for DC itself...I've fallen completely in love with the city. I know there is crime and traffic and sirens and yelling, and I love every bit of it. The history and the culture and the richness of tradition is just beautiful.

There just is no other place like this, and I intend to soak of every experience I can while I am here. So far I have had something scheduled almost every minute but today I did get to experience something new....I road the bus for the first time, and then road it alone for the first time. I felt like a such a big girl! Haha! Anyway...I know that there will be some trying times this year and it won't all be as wonderful as these first few days but I know that God is doing something amazing and for some reason I get to be a part of it. For that I am so thankful and SO excited for this next year.

Dear Friends...

August 7, 2010

Dear Friends and Family,

I hope this letter finds you well! This summer has been a whirlwind for me with so many great things that I cannot even believe how God has been blessing me! In just a few weeks, I have some major changes that will be greatly impacting my life. I’m so excited, but let me explain from the beginning before I get ahead of myself.

In the past I have found it hard to explain to others what it is that I actually plan to do with this life God has given me. Honestly, that is because God has been slowly revealing His plan to me as well. Over the last few years I have worked for a few different coffee shops and during this time I have fallen in love with coffee (but you probably know that!) My love of coffee extends past the caffeine fix in the morning. While working in coffeehouses I have been able to observe first hand how coffee can host conversations with old friends, first dates, Bible studies or business arrangements. I have witnessed how a steaming mug of coffee cupped in someone’s hands can put a person at ease and foster deep conversations. There is also an artistry that emerges in coffeehouses that highlights creativity and encourages innovation. This love extends past the coffeehouse as well. I have learned how the coffee trade affects more than my latte and myself, but when it is Fair Trade, can change the lives of the farmers and their employees. I obviously could go on about this topic but I should probably move on before I bore you to death!

As a student at Southeastern University, I studied psychology and developed a passion for people. After I graduated I knew that I must use my life to serve others. My heart broke for the hurting and I knew that I must do something to help. During my time living in Columbus, I attended Continuum Church and got really involved in the Outreach Group. This gave me a way to show God’s love to others and serve the community. I learned that there was a place for the church in the marketplace and as Christians we should utilize these opportunities.

This brings me to where I am today. In a couple of weeks I will be graduating with my masters degree in human services concentrating on business. This degree is the perfect marriage of my two passions. Upon graduation I also have some exciting news…

For the last couple of years I have been following the ministry of Mark Batterson at National Community Church in Washington, DC. NCC owns a coffeehouse on Capitol Hill where they use the proceeds to benefit the community. They have an intense belief that because Jesus spent his time with people at the well, today’s church should do the same. They (and I) believe that a coffeehouse is a modern day well and the perfect place for the community and church to intersect. NCC also has a yearlong internship program they call their Protégé Program. I am so excited to say that I have been accepted into this program!

I cannot think of anything else I would rather do for this next year. My position will be split between working in the church’s coffeehouse, Ebenezers and with the event planner, planning community events to be hosted by Ebenezers. This position perfectly matches my schooling, past experiences, passions and future goals.

The Protégé internship program at National Community Church is a non-paid internship (though I will be paid for my part-time position at Ebenezers). DC is an expensive city and I know this seems like a crazy idea to pursue in times like these. But I also know the God we serve, and I know the doors he has opened thus far, and that He will continue to provide! With this in mind, I write asking you to support me spiritually with your prayers, and also financially. Each one of you understands my passion for ministry and know the importance of this type of opportunity.

Would you please consider supporting me financially this year, or perhaps with a one time gift? Please, please continue praying for God’s wisdom and guidance. While I am definitely a city girl, DC is a whole new world. I am so excited but almost equally as nervous. Thank God for His peace, right? It is going to be a crazy, new adventure, and I am grateful that you are along for the ride! And if you are interested, please follow my experience in DC on my blog!

With love,

Heather

Here is the best address to reach me:

135 W. Summit St.

Lakewood, NY 14750

hmcorsi@gmail.com

http://randomthoughtshmc.blogspot.com