Leadership

As proteges, we have been reading Next Generation Leader by Andy Stanley. The entire book is filled with some really great insights and practical applications. Today we discussed the book as a group and it was really insightful.

I found that my biggest obstacle when reading the book was identifying with label of "leader." It honestly does not make much sense that I have as much trouble with that title as I do. I am consistently put into leadership roles and I really want to be a person of influence. I think my biggest problem is knowing how uncertain I am all the time. How things scare me and I feel so lost and helpless so much of the time. Or how I may have made a good decision here or there, but for every good decision were just as many bad decisions or a very real chance of me choosing incorrectly. One thing Andy mentioned in the book was that he is never more than 80% certain of things. I found that refreshing. Maybe I'm not the only one that doesn't have it all figured out? And maybe that's ok?

Earlier today in our staff meeting, a member of our staff lead us in a devotional. He asked us what the major theme our "story" would be. He said that throughout the Bible, God's theme is that of humility. Logically if we are to be reflecting God, then our stories should also be stories of humility. For me, this really tied into everything we have been reading about being a leader.

I want desperately to be a leader of humility but I fear that more often I am a leader of insecurity. By that I mean this...I am perfectly fine being behind the scenes and not the face in front of the crowd. This may appear as humility to some but really it is often my insecurity. I am fine receiving praise but I am often not fine with receiving criticism. If I can stay in the background, my mistakes are not as noticeable. This is not easy for me to admit and in some ways I really do enjoy doing the behind the scenes stuff. But we also have been examining our motives, and if I perfectly honest, my motives are not always pure.

One of the goals I have set for this next year is that I will step out and try more new things. I will say yes, even when I am afraid. I will most likely not get it right every time and I may even fall back into old habits but I am praying that God will help to give me strength to have truly humble motives. I have a feeling I have found a few people that might help to keep me accountable to this as well.

Practical is Impractical.

So I have been in DC for a whole week now! It has been ca-razy!! It's really weird because I feel like I've been here forever (except of course when I'm driving or trying to figure where in the world I am!) But I feel like it just clicks.

I was sitting at dinner the other night with some new friends from the church and I suddenly became very aware that I had only met these people a couple of days before but it felt like so much longer. I keep having these little moments where it really sinks in that I now LIVE in DC and this isn't just another visit. I was able to unpack the last of my stuff and go grocery shopping last night. I felt like a real resident. I keep waiting for the moment when I freak out about this but it hasn't happened yet. So far I am just grateful to God that I get to do this. I've been reflecting on the last few years and I can now see how they have prepared me for exactly this moment and for that...I am also grateful.

Yesterday we got to sit down and hang out with Pastor Mark (Batterson) for awhile. Up until now we have only really gotten to see him in passing so it was nice to just get to know him for a bit. We all told our stories and how we ended up here and he pointed out that when I told mine I used the word "practical" a lot. That's because I desperately want to be "practical" but so far my life has not reflected that. It seems that God keeps calling me to do impractical things like pack up and move to DC. He smiled and said "practical is impractical anyway."

I think I'm going to like it here.

NCC Day number 3!

Well today was my third day as part of the National Community Church Protege Program. Honestly, these last few days have been a whirl wind and I cannot believe that I have only been here since Wednesday. It feels like much longer than that...but in a good way. I cannot believe that this simple girl from Western New York gets to be a part of something so amazing. These last couple of days I have met a-mazing people and am really excited to see what's in store for all of us this next year.

I moved on Wednesday and started at 9am on Thursday. We got to spend some time getting to know the other five people in the program. We got to share our crazy stories of how God had brought each one of us to this place. It was interesting because we all have such different backgrounds and passions but we all seem to share common threads in our stories and there is an ease to our conversations. I'm looking forward to learning from each of them.

The NCC staff...well I actually am having trouble articulating how fantastic everyone has been. Their energy is off the charts and they really couldn't be more welcoming. I was asked at dinner tonight what my favorite part has been so far. I immediately thought of some of the crazy things I've seen and participated in these last couple of days. There has been cheering, high fives, the "slow clap" that evolves into enormous roars, karaoke and even some dancing. These are things that most of you will know, I usually do not enjoy. And if I ever do enjoy them, it is after I have known the other participants for a lengthy period of time, not after mere hours of meeting. But truly...I have loved every minute, even as I awkwardly sang my part of the duet to Jesus Freak, I loved it. This is because I do not feel that I am surrounded by strangers but by lifelong friends. Friends that share my vision and passion for God. I mean really...what more could you ask for?

As for DC itself...I've fallen completely in love with the city. I know there is crime and traffic and sirens and yelling, and I love every bit of it. The history and the culture and the richness of tradition is just beautiful.

There just is no other place like this, and I intend to soak of every experience I can while I am here. So far I have had something scheduled almost every minute but today I did get to experience something new....I road the bus for the first time, and then road it alone for the first time. I felt like a such a big girl! Haha! Anyway...I know that there will be some trying times this year and it won't all be as wonderful as these first few days but I know that God is doing something amazing and for some reason I get to be a part of it. For that I am so thankful and SO excited for this next year.