Leadership

As proteges, we have been reading Next Generation Leader by Andy Stanley. The entire book is filled with some really great insights and practical applications. Today we discussed the book as a group and it was really insightful.

I found that my biggest obstacle when reading the book was identifying with label of "leader." It honestly does not make much sense that I have as much trouble with that title as I do. I am consistently put into leadership roles and I really want to be a person of influence. I think my biggest problem is knowing how uncertain I am all the time. How things scare me and I feel so lost and helpless so much of the time. Or how I may have made a good decision here or there, but for every good decision were just as many bad decisions or a very real chance of me choosing incorrectly. One thing Andy mentioned in the book was that he is never more than 80% certain of things. I found that refreshing. Maybe I'm not the only one that doesn't have it all figured out? And maybe that's ok?

Earlier today in our staff meeting, a member of our staff lead us in a devotional. He asked us what the major theme our "story" would be. He said that throughout the Bible, God's theme is that of humility. Logically if we are to be reflecting God, then our stories should also be stories of humility. For me, this really tied into everything we have been reading about being a leader.

I want desperately to be a leader of humility but I fear that more often I am a leader of insecurity. By that I mean this...I am perfectly fine being behind the scenes and not the face in front of the crowd. This may appear as humility to some but really it is often my insecurity. I am fine receiving praise but I am often not fine with receiving criticism. If I can stay in the background, my mistakes are not as noticeable. This is not easy for me to admit and in some ways I really do enjoy doing the behind the scenes stuff. But we also have been examining our motives, and if I perfectly honest, my motives are not always pure.

One of the goals I have set for this next year is that I will step out and try more new things. I will say yes, even when I am afraid. I will most likely not get it right every time and I may even fall back into old habits but I am praying that God will help to give me strength to have truly humble motives. I have a feeling I have found a few people that might help to keep me accountable to this as well.