Catalyst thoughts...

As a mentioned before, the theme of Catalyst was "the tension is good." It's funny how something so basic can be so crucial to hear at times. Personally I struggle with the tension of what I want to call my "career." I desperately want to be one of those people that said in high school, "I'm going to be nurse." So they went to college to study nursing and now they are nurses and most likely will be until they retire. I want to be that person...but I am not. Truth is, I graduated from college almost five years ago and I still cannot say with one hundred percent certainty what I will do with my life. There are some things I know of course, but they never seem sufficient when I am trying to explain my life's goals to another person.

People assume that my plan is to open a coffeehouse. This is not a bad assumption by any means, and honestly it may very well happen some day. I love coffee and I have a passion for using that medium to reach the community, to foster relationships and better the lives of those involved in the entire coffee process (ie. Fair Trade beans). But when I look at my life, I am not sure that that is the end of the story.

I am equally as passionate about the church as I am about coffee. I love seeing the church come together and work toward a common goal. I believe that the church does not need to be irrelevant in today's culture but I also believe that some significant changes must occur so that the church remains authentic and a vital part of the community. I almost studied Industrial and Organizational Psychology or Sociology in grad school so that I could work towards being a consultant of sorts for churches to help them reach out to the community. (I ended up studying something else but that's a long story.) I feel that the church often ignores these sciences and therefore knows nothing about the people they are trying to help. My thought was that I could utilize the very same tools that the business world seems to have conquered but use them as a way to genuinely help people. Instead of understanding people so that we could sell them a product, we could use that understanding to connect and really impact a church's community. It would also be used as a way to unify those working together inside a church so that a church staff could use tools like personality profiles to help understand one another and relate better...in the hopes that this could avoid the ugly conflicts that all too often tear apart churches.

The truth is I still want to do both of these things. I currently work in a coffeehouse that gives all profits back to the community and missions projects around the world. And I love it. But ultimately my heart still has a soft spot for the church and for making the church reflect the church of the New Testament.

Honestly, this dichotomy can get rather frustrating to someone like me. I'm a thinker but sometimes thinking doesn't solve the problem. Perhaps though, I am not meant to solve this "problem." Beth Moore said something at Catalyst that really resonated with me. She said to make sure we do not commit to a particular ministry field but just to commit to God and the rest will take care of itself. I needed to hear that. So that's my plan for the next year...to commit to God and learn as a much as I can about as many things as I can. I don't know where that will leave me in a year but today I'm going to try and take the advice of Jesus and just worry about today and let tomorrow worry about itself.