It's not that I don't have goals. I do. They just look a little different sometimes. For example, I cannot bring myself to set a goal to have my mortgage paid off by the time I am 55 when I do not yet even have a mortgage. It's just not how I am wired. My goals are often more theoretical in nature...more like themes. This does not usually fulfill the other person's expectations of a proper goal however; this has proven to be the source of frustration for both of us.
I desperately have tried to be that person that says I'm going to school for blank so that I can become blank and do blank and blank. (Upon rereading that last sentence I realize that it doesn't sound as innocent as I meant it but I think you get the picture.) The honest truth is however, I'm secretly glad I'm not one of those people. I had romanticized the the notion in the past but what could be more exciting than not knowing the future? So far, it's actually worked out pretty well and it's taking me some crazy places that I would not have planned for. I also would not have added them to a goal list, because I probably wouldn't have thought of things like "graduate from Southeastern University," "move to Columbus," or even "move to DC and work for a church on Capitol Hill." And even though it wasn't formally on my "goal" sheet it seems to have happened anyway.
I used to think that if I ever married that it had better be to a man that had a distinct pattern for life so that one of us would possess some direction. Now, I actually think the opposite might be a better fit. My life has been pretty crazy and I can only imagine that it will keep being so, so I might as well try to find someone willing to join me in this crazy ride rather than stabilize it. And besides, I do have direction, its just more of a turn by turn type of direction rather than the entire zoomed out Google map.
I don't think goals or resolutions are bad, I just feel that mine may not look like everyone else's. And that...that is okay.
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