Bangs. That's what's different. I left with long misshapen sorry excuses for bangs and returned with properly formed bangs. But that answer didn't seem to satisfy the people asking. They assumed there was something else. I assured them that I only had a haircut no Christmas plastic surgery. As I thought about it though, I realized that there was something (besides my new bangs) different about me today. For the first time in awhile, I felt content.
It's not that I haven't felt content for quite awhile now but I think I've been too busy to notice. Today...I noticed. It started when I was driving back to DC last night. The past couple weeks have contained more hours of driving than I would have liked but last night my drive felt different. As I got closer to home I expected to feel a bit of the inevitable dread that usually comes when ending vacation and resuming real life. Instead, I felt excited and peaceful. I was home. And I was thoroughly looking forward to returning to work. It had been a really long time since I felt like that. That same excitement continued as I got ready for work and even as I walked to work. Weird.
I started to notice some of this just before I went home for the holidays. I was feeling a tad homesick. But as I thought about it, I realized that really I just missed my family and friends. Home no longer felt the same as it once did. I used to long for a particular place, but now the word "home" had a different definition to me. The song "I'll be home for Christmas" had a new meaning for me this year. "Home" is my family. Places are great but they are not what I long for when I've a had a rough day. While I believe that as I move around from place to place, I cannot help but leave a piece of my heart behind, I am suddenly aware that this is because my heart is left those I love that are still there.
Funny, I just reread that paragraph and it actually makes me sound like I don't like where I am, but its actually the opposite. I have fallen in love with DC. I have fallen in love with NCC and Ebenezers. But most of all, I have fallen in love with the people here. I was trying to explain to an old friend over the holidays that I don't mind working long hours because I get to work with the very same people I'd want to hang out with anyway. While I have no idea how long I will get to do this, I am just in the mode of trying to soak up as much and as many experiences as I can, while I can.
Next week, I am supposed to answer the question of what else I'd like to get out of my experience as a Protege. I honestly am not sure how I am going to answer that question. I already feel far more blessed than I deserve. I have already had so many amazing experiences that I cannot begin to ask for more.
So yes, there is something different about me. I have taken time to let some of my time here sink in and I could not be more thankful. I feel content and expectant at the same time. I cannot wait to see what could possibly be next. While it has not all been easy here in DC, it has already changed me for the better and I'm only a quarter of the way in.
So yes, yes there is something different.
Oh...and I have bangs.
