This coming Wednesday I will mark my one year anniversary in Washington, DC. That kind of milestone always makes me stop and reflect on how its gone and where it's going. I'm currently sitting on my porch with my laptop and a cup of coffee and I cannot help but feel slightly overwhelmed by the blessings I've been given this year. I remember a year ago packing up my stuff, praying that I could make it through the year. I moved here, not really knowing if it was even possible for me to live in DC for a year with a *very limited income. Looking back over this past year, I'm not even quite sure how it was possible. Except I do know that I was blessed with amazing people in my life this year. People who are gracious and giving and I am so so very thankful for them.
I feel like I write about the people I've met here a lot, but I just can't stress enough how thankful I am. Thankful for the random meals or concert tickets bought by friends and for the roommates who have let me pay my rent in increments each month. This year I have learned what it means to be part of a community.
I tend to like to do things independently. If I can do it alone I'd rather just tackle it myself than bother others. If you've ever seen me carry a heavy object you'd know that I'm not one to immediately ask for help. I wait until I am sure I actually cannot complete the task alone before I give in. This year has not allowed me to do that. I have had to ask for help...repeatedly. To say it's been humbling doesn't quite seem to do it justice. There were times this year when everything was up in the air, not just my present situation but also the future. I remember on particularly stressful time this past spring when I realized I only had about six months left in the protege program and literally had not one clue about what I would do after. I panicked a bit. Ok...a lot. I had to turn to others for reassurance. I tend to like being the person giving the reassurance, not receiving it. That experience (and feeling of helplessness) taught me so much about community.
Community goes two ways. You cannot fully be involved in community if you are only willing to engage in half the equation. You cannot wait for others to continually be vulnerable with you if you are never vulnerable with them. At some point, if you're really hoping for honest and true community, you must let your guard down.
I can't say I'm an expert at this yet, but I'm learning. I'm learning that sacrificial love means that once in awhile you might look like a fool, but you also might be blessed more than you could have ever imagined. I'm learning how beautiful true community is. It should be sought after, and cherished once found.
So thank you. Thank you to everyone that helped me build community here and are teaching me about true love. Thank you.
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